A Surprising Difference Between Japanese and U.S. Hospitality, and What It Says About Boundaries
The pleasant art of saying no in Japanese
When we think about establishing boundaries, we often think of it as something curt, maybe a bit rude, but that we should be unapologetic about it anyways. Yet while I often agree with this sentiment, there is something about the pleasant art of saying no in Japanese.
The major difference between Japanese and American customer service
The sentiment of “the customer is always right” and “everything is negotiable” is prevalent throughout American consumer culture — in food, in lodging, in transportation, and in retail, most Americans approach customer service with the expectation that some negotiating and flexibility in rules can be applied.
But unlike American customer service, Japanese customer service is actually quite stringent with its rules and regulations — you’ll hear ‘no’ quite often. But no one ever really gets that upset about it — why is that so?
Perhaps you’ve asked the waiter to slightly change a menu item, or you asked the retail associate if you could return a sweater where the tag was already cut off. While in the United States you might expect a chance to be accommodated, in Japan you would more likely than not find yourself with a very long response:
“I’m so incredibly sorry to inconvenience you, but it is with deep regret that I inform you that due to our limited resources we are not going to be able to accommodate your request.”
This sort of behavior can be a running joke with family and friends on Japanese standards of “too politeness”. Yet because of how Japanese hospitality is often delivered — the politeness, the formality, the kindness, the almost overly considerate mannerisms — even if it’s not as flexible as American customer service, it’s so gentle in its treatment of the asker, customers hardly get too bothered.
