Comparing Yourself to Others is So Stupid

And How to Break This Unbreakable Habit

“Comparing yourself to others is so stupid.”

My little sister told me point-blank as I finished rambling about how insecure I felt compared to my peers. We were having brunch at a small cafe in Karuizawa, a small mountain resort town in Japan. The late lunch rush had passed, and the last of the crowd was just about finishing their meals.

It is a pretty obvious statement, but at the same time it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Yeah, it’s pretty stupid. And it’s making me miserable so I need to stop.

I was growing envious of my peers who seemed to have their lives together, getting high-profile jobs or celebrating long-term relationships. I looked at myself who didn’t have either, and suddenly felt bad about myself. While I’m fully aware that Instagram or Facebook will only show good things about a person’s life, the constant bombardment of celebration still makes me feel insecure about myself. I knew that to compare my life to another person’s highlights was toxic, toxic, toxic— yet I couldn’t stop.

Our need to compare ourselves to others is an awful habit that’s especially hard to beat. You’ve probably heard of this question, “Would you rather make $50,000 a year while your…